


The Price We Pay

by Lunarflare14



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Baby Hobbits, Bag End, Bittersweet, Bonding, Elves, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hobbit Culture, Loss, Lost Love, Moving On, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post BotFA, Post Hobbit, Post-Canon, Post-Movie(s), Sad Bilbo, Sad Tauriel, Tea, The Shire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-13 07:03:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3372224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunarflare14/pseuds/Lunarflare14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo is sitting down to tea when he hears the knock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bilbo had been home nearly a year and Bag End was still in shambles. He hadn’t gotten back all of his auctioned off possessions. He was still missing a large amount of his cloths since those had been bought by a man in Bree for his children and Shire authority was still going through all the red tape that was involved in getting them back. With the Shire being what it is, most of his books had remained untouched but his shelves were still gone, leaving the books stacked haphazardly around his hobbit hole. He’d taken up doing his own gardening to keep busy and to give his dutiful garden a well-deserved vacation. It was time for tea and the kettle had just began to whistle when a knock came to his door. He wasn’t expecting visitors—most of the Shire folk were wary of him since he’d returned from his journey.

He straightened his jacket and opened the door. “Good afternoon—“

His reply died in his throat as he looked up at the willowy figure before him. She was much like he remembered; fiery hair, bright eyes, but the smile was new, if a bit small.

“Master Baggins.” She gave a short, uncertain bow. “You may not remember me—“

“Lady Tauriel!” he exclaimed, bouncing a bit with surprise and excitement.

The elf blushed a light pink at the title. “I’m not—”

“Come in! Come in! My word it has been an age.” He waved the elf woman in and she stepped over the threshold hesitantly. Her head nearly touched the ceiling.

Tauriel took off her emerald green riding cloak which Bilbo took from her gently. “I apologize for not sending word ahead but I was assured by Lord Balin that tea was around this time of day and you should thus be home to receive me.”

Bilbo smiled up at his guest. “You bring word from the mountain! Wonderful indeed. But first a cup of tea. Your journey here must have been long.”

She nodded and he led her into his sitting room. “Please sit. I’ll bring out the tea. How do you take it, my dear?”

“Just some sugar should be fine.”

He popped into the kitchen and grabbed a tray, adding an extra cup and an extra plate of cinnamon scones to the spread he’d laid out for himself. When he returned to the sitting room, Tauriel was standing by one of the stacks of books still lying about. She’d taken the book from the top and opened it, lightly turning the pages. “A fan of reading?”

She jumped as if caught and set the book down hastily. “Yes.” Sitting in one of his plush chairs, she remained a bit rigid. It wasn’t something Bilbo was used to seeing the former captain do. “The library in Greenwood is quite extensive. I was quite fond of it. There was a stairway that led up to the canopy where you could see the stars.”

Bilbo nodded, setting down the tray and handing her a cup. “Oh, I imagine that was lovely. I do enjoy the stars.”

A sad smile came upon her fair face as she took the cup from him. “Now that I am out in the world, I do a lot of star gazing.”

Bilbo remembered how they had parted ways. She had attended the royal funeral after she had carried young Kili’s body back to the mountain. “How have your travels been? Uneventful I hope.”

The elf sighed. “Whatever evil that had been stirring remains in the shadows for now. Legolas objected to my coming West, but his path took him elsewhere. The journey here was peaceful but I do not trust it to last.”

“Peace so rarely does.”

She cradled the cup in her hands. “Before this journey, I went to Lothlorien for a time. But I returned to Erebor before I embarked west.” She set down the tea cup and pulled thick parchment and a small box from her pack. “Your friends wished me to deliver these.”

Bilbo took them and set them aside. “I will have to reply soon. Many caravans from the north are heading east to the mountain. They’ll take my tidings with them.” Tauriel picked her tea up and sipped it gently, like she thought she might break the small cup.

“They are quite friendly for dwarves.” She winced. “I should not say it in such a way. They are friendly folk. And despite our people’s conflicts, they have treated me with respect.”

Bilbo shrugged. “They take a bit of getting used to, I admit. They’re stubborn.”

She smiled at her tea. “I have seen how a dwarf can be once they’ve set their mind to something.”

Bilbo’s memory flashed how she carried Kili to the mountain. She wouldn’t let anyone touch him til he was safely within Erebor’s walls. She had been weeping. His own grief at the time had led him not to think on it, but now he recalled the image with great clarity. “It is especially true for the line of Durin.”

Tauriel looked up, tears sprouting in her eyes. Her hands started to shake. Hastily she set down the cup so she could clasp them tightly together. “Oh. Not again.”

On instinct Bilbo reached out and placed a hand over hers. It was then Bilbo noticed how pale she was and the beginnings of dark circles under her eyes. “Lady Tauriel, are you unwell?”

She tried to smile but it faded quickly.  “I went to Lady Galadriel, to see if she could… could fix it. So I might go to the Undying Lands. She told me what I already knew… It is too much. No ship would take me from this place, even if I wished to go. Lord Elrond said the same, that I shouldn’t even have survived this long. The _pity_ in his face—” Bilbo took both her hands in his. Long, thin hands, but strong. Callused. Tauriel looked up from her hands, eyes bright and searching his own. 

He knew the pain he saw in those eyes.

It was killing her.

Just as it had been killing him.

“I’m sorry to lay my burdens upon you. I've been prone to fits of melancholy.”

“No! I understand. I too have grieved deeply for the House of Durin. Perhaps in the same way as you.” Something like understanding dawned in Tauriel’s eyes. “Thorin and I… we were very close. He did not tell me in life, but he gave me a gift of great significance. I was not made aware of it ‘til after but… Well, a small amount of mythril is expensive. What does it mean when a treasure mad dwarf gives you a whole shirt of it?” Tauriel’s eyes flashed with pity but it seemed she reigned it in. That suited him. He did not want pity and it was nice to have someone understand that. “I’ve heard of elves fading. Your ails are something a bit more than that, aren’t they.”

“Yes… I am dying.” The way she said it made Bilbo wonder if she’d ever said it aloud before. “Lady Galadriel said it may be another hundred years. Most days I can function but others.” She wiped her eyes. “The lady said that she has seen people die within a moon of lesser grief.”

“What will you do?

She shrugged a little. “After I leave you? Perhaps go to Rivendell again. I had spent a moon there and Lord Elrond's daughter and I have become fast friends.” There was a hesitancy in her words he could not place. She was uncertain, and it seemed that uncertainty was unfamiliar to her.

“You are so strong. And brave. And kind. He saw that in you. You can be sure of that.” He let go of her hands and handed her the cup again. When she took it, they were steady once more. “You should remain here in Bag End for a time. My parents always had a large guest bed. Consider it yours, for however long you need.”

She shook her head, beginning to protest, but Bilbo cut her off. “No, I will not hear any protest. Because you are right; I do understand.” He picked up his own cup of tea and blew on it.

Sipping her own tea, Tauriel seemed to relax. “Forgive me, you greet me as an old friend and it is… different. But not unwelcome.”

Bilbo shrugged. “In the short time you knew him, you stole my dear boy’s heart. A boy I would have perhaps called kin had fate given me the chance. It would dishonor his memory to treat you as anything less, my lady.”

That earned him a smile. “I am not a lady. Just Tauriel.”

“If you insist, _just_ Tauriel.”

That bit got him a full laugh. “You caught me. I do like the sound of it. But in another life, we may have been—” She paused her smiled only just faltering before she continued. “—truly family. And I would not have my family address me so formally.”

Bilbo straightened with mock seriousness. “Then I insist you call me Uncle.”

Tauriel raised her tea cup and Bilbo did the same. “You have a deal.” They touched their cups together in a toast, and the clink sounded like a promise.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Later in the evening as Bilbo was sitting in front of the fire, Tauriel approached him and sat at in the chair across from him. He usually flowing hair was now just one massive braid and she was wearing looser, more comfortable clothing. He had let her get situated in her room after tea and found her napping when he went to check on her. Well, he assumed it was napping, though her eyes were still open. He had said her name and she’d seemed as if in a trace. Elves were odd things.

Now she seemed much less weary, if still looking sickly to his eyes.

“We did not have a lot of time to talk after the battle. I still wonder how such a… small creature got caught up in such a grand adventure.”

Bilbo laughed. “Wizard meddling mostly. But also… At the time I blamed it on the Took in me.” Tauriel made a face that was clearly confused and he elaborated. “If you spend any amount of time in the Shire you’ll find they put a lot of stock in lineage. The Took family are known trouble makers. They’re not going to take to you right away. If you are an oddity, hobbits are a bit cautious when approaching you.”

She smiled. “It is the opposite for the elves of my realm. If you are not out trying to cause a stir you are the odd one.”

Bilbo nodded. “I got the sense of that. But I am also a Baggins, one of the most respectable least adventurous families in the Shire. I was conflicted and terrified.”

Tauriel pulled her knees into her chest, hugging them tightly. “What changed your mind?”

He smiled thoughtfully, looking into the fire. “Their song did. Thorin started it and the dwarves all chimed in. It was the tale of the mountain. Of a lost home. It promised adventure.  Then they all went to sleep and I could still hear Thorin singing softly in the other room. His song sounded so homesick.” The fire cracked loudly and he sighed. “I wanted to help them. I wanted to be part of their world… his world.” They were silent for a time, staring into the fire together, and content to let that hang in the air a moment.

Tauriel turned away from the fire eyeing him from her seat. “You have not been in this world for even a tenth my life and yet I feel as if you are my elder.”

Bilbo shrugged. “It is the gift of a short life; we mature faster.”

They shared a smile. For the first time in a long time he felt lighter.

“Perhaps you’d like to hear the tale from the beginning?”

* * *

 

As it turned out, an elf residing in the Shire for an extended period was cause for scandal. There were talks and whispers of everything from innocent to foul, all of which he and Tauriel ignored. It was quite easy to do so since hobbits gave them a wide berth when they were out at the market, or exploring the nearby woods. She was a great help with his side hobby of mapping the Shire. After a few afternoons of wandering she could cross check that everything was accurately spaced on the paper.

Hamfast approached Bilbo after a week, having finished his bit of the gardening. Bilbo was getting ready to pull some weeds of his own. He’d taken to doing a lot of the smaller maintenance himself—still paying Hamfast his full wages in the meantime. It was strange having more money than he knew what to do with.

“Will the she-elf be staying for the Free Fair?” Hamfast asked.

“Yes, _Tauriel_ is looking forward to it.” Bilbo was trying to get the gardener out of the habit of calling her ‘she-elf’. She did have a name.

Hamfast removed his hat and scuffed the ground with his foot. “My apologies, Mister Bilbo. I meant Miss Tauriel no offence. It is just such an odd thing, an elf in the Shire.”

“She is a person just as all of us are. And she has been having a rough go at things for quite some time. Lost someone dear to her. And elves… aren’t equipped to handle it.” He didn’t go on but Hamfast nodded.

“She’s seemed down. Hopefully nothing a little Shire air and Baggins hospitality can't fix.” With that they existed his house and he was off down the road with a tip of his hat to Tauriel. She was on the bench outside Bag End with Esmerelda, one of his young cousins with bouncing red curls, balanced on her knee. Her parents had asked Bilbo to watch her for the afternoon, and Tauriel had beamed when they arrived to drop her off. It gave Bilbo time to do some of his own gardening work. Being with the young ones often brought color back to Tauriel’s face and a bit of an extra spring in her step.

“You know how to shoot a bow?” Esmeralda asked sweetly. The little one was a Took and thus never feared Tauriel.

“Aye, I do. I am one of the best, even among my people. And that is saying something.”

The girl frowned. “One of the best? You weren’t the best?”

That made Tauriel frown. “No. No, that was the prince.”

At the word prince his niece’s face lit up. “You’ve met a prince?”

“Oh yes, Prince Legolas Greenleaf of the Greenwood. He is one of my oldest and dearest friends.” Tauriel leaned down and said quietly. “I do believe he fancied me for a time.”

Esmeralda gapped. “And you didn’t marry him? You could have been a queen!”

Tauriel laughed nervously. “There… there was another I fancied. That and the king would never allow it. I am a common elf. It was an ill match.”

Bilbo stopped his work because Esmeralda was near indignant now. “You fancied someone else? Who is better than a prince?”

Bilbo laughed, as set down his tools and joined them on the bench. “Another prince if you can imagine. A dwarf.”

Esmeralda’s big green eyes turned to him. “One of your dwarves?” Bilbo nodded. “One of… the ones who passed on.”

Bilbo frowned. “Who told you that bit?”

“Adelard did.”

Adelard was one of the older boys who got to hear a bit more of the details then the younger ones. Guess who was never hearing the story told by him again? Tauriel’s grip on her tightened a little. “Yes. He was brave, and a good archer. Sweet and true… It was not meant to be.” She smiled wistfully out over the green hills of the Shire. It was the first time since she arrived that she spoke of Killi without shaking.

Esmerelda yawned loudly and her head lulled onto Tauriel’s shoulder. “So you came to live with Uncle Bilbo?”

“For a time.” She stood, cradling the little hobbit girl in her arms. “Perhaps a nap, pen tithen.”

“I’m not tired.” But the little hobbit yawned again and Tauriel stood.

“Of course. But perhaps we should go inside? I will sing you a song.”

Esmeralda yawned a third time. “Please do, Miss Tauriel.”

She began to sing in elvish as she enter his house, but the tone was that of his own song and he hummed along.

_Roads go ever ever on,_

_Over rock and under tree,_

_By caves where never sun has shone,_

_By streams that never find the sea_


End file.
